I knew it, I just fkn knew it.  I’m queefing folks!  First: eCigarettes…Now this: eCigars have been confirmed.  I knew they wouldn’t be far behind when I researched the YAYS & NAYS of eCigs a few weeks ago (no harmful additives, no second hand smoke, no odor…side effects still unknown, but at least cancer won’t be one).  This latest arrival confirms that some smart azz in China is inventing the marijuana cartridge right now as I type.  I mean, really, what else are cigars good for these days?

Picture me rolling: smoking the world’s greatest herb via an electronic device that eliminates the tell-tale smoke & smell (i.e., the 2 leading indicators of getting ganked by the local P.D.).  Hell, you can picture me doing just about anything:  smoke breaks at work would take on a whole new meaning, road trips with the kids would be hella less stressful, laughing in the face of security at the clubs (well, that’s not new but it would be even funnier!), and I would no longer have to wonder if my seat neighbor at Sunday morning service is just really focused on the Word, or grimacing at my pine-coney odor.

eCigrettes are currently being “investigated” by the FDA, blahblahblah, big tobacco companies are hating on the potential competition, blahblahblah, the government is secretly worried about potential loss in tax revenue, blahblahblah, drug companies are worried about a decline in cancer drug sales…meanwhile: they’re available for sale in local malls & gas stations in the hood (and in the very near future, my house!).

Hmmm, interesting: the government has halted new shipments, but has not seized the current supply.  Say whaaat?! Could it be that the government is in cahoots w/ tobacco companies to make sure these fun times are out-lawed –then revised & re-introduced per U.S. rules…I’m predicting that Big Tobacco will laugh all the way to the bank once the eCigs are carrying their brandmarks (currently made in China) & just to show you I’m not blowing smoke up your arse (that request line is now closed): Big Tobacco is already supporting the legislation to make it happen.  Now that’s pimpin’!

While ya’ll wait for the crumbs to settle, somebody pass me a peach cigarillo before they go extinct…