WARNING: The following advertisement contains language that may cause you to feel embarrassed, angry, depressed or even suicidal.  If you experience any of these symptoms, please call 1-800-KICK-MY-ASS, to begin a program designed especially for you!  Visit a place where “We Beat You, Cause We Love You, and…Because No One Else Did!”

But, kid, I'm not your Dad!

Awww, you look so sad.   Say what, Gurl?  Your man’s family members always give you the side-eye whenever you show up at their BBQ’s?  That is a little crazy.  What did you do, donkey-kong a Granny or something?  What the hell?…they laugh at you whenever you ask him to do something for the kids?    Well, shiiit, he helped you make them!  Ain’t he too hood to have one of those types of families, I done seen his Momma whoop his grown ass a time or two.

Oh, those aren’t his kids?  Girl, stop playing I had no idea!  Wow.  No, no, no,  I’m just saying.  I mean…I guess I always assumed because your son is only 9 months, and him and the older baby girl do call him “Daddy”.  All ya’ll look alike & everything.  Plus, the way ya’ll argue, I thought ya’ll had been together for a minute, hahaha.  Uhuhh, don’t get mad at me, that was funny.

Oh, you met him six months ago and have been dating ever since?  Okay, well, that’s wassup.  If he’s taking care of ya’ll & providing for the kids, his family needs to chill..  Oh, he’s not working & he lives with ya’ll.  Mhm, I see.  Well, love will make you do somethings that people don’t understand…  Aiight, I’m sorry.  Didn’t mean to get it confused, I gotcha: you don’t “love him like that”.  But you do see yourself being with him for a minute right? If you don’t then why are letting them call him Daddy?  What about when ya’ll break up?  Aren’t you scared they’re going to miss him and all that?  A new one?!

Aww, come on, I know pulling a dude is easy for you, but that doesn’t mean they have to call all of them Daddy.  ..but, you’re raising your kids to learn that all dad’s do is leave.  No, that’s not true just because it happened to you, and don’t you want something better for them?  Nooo, actually, you didn’t turn out alright.  Look at what you’re doing now.  Uhuh, stop all that, I am your friend and all, but don’t snap on me the way you should snap on yourself.  You all defensive cause you know this ain’t right.  What the hell?!, first of all, ain’t nobody trying to tell you how to raise your kids…but you know what, maybe that’s the problem…

If you, or a loved one, is suffering from “Call Him Daddy” syndrome, please contact us immediately for help.  We guarantee that will we slap the shit out of (and the sense into) any woman that does not protect her children  from the perils of Dads “with restrictions”.

Please call 1-800-KICK-MY-ASS today!!!!!!